There’s a darkness upon me that’s flooded in light
In the fine print they tell me what’s wrong and what’s right
And it comes in black and it comes in white
And I’m frightened by those that don’t see it
When nothing is owed or deserved or expected
And your life doesn’t change by the man that’s elected
If you’re loved by someone, you’re never rejected
Decide what to be and go be it
~The Avett Brothers
Fear affects us all. It may not be terror, panic or anxiety. But for most everyone, the desire to meet people's expectations, to not disappoint, is a powerful drive and the more we put ourselves out there, the bigger the risk of rejection is. And we're afraid of rejection. Because we all want to please! It's human nature, and this is perfectly fine, in and of itself. But there's a trap lying in wait as we navigate through life. And if we're not careful, we can get caught in it if we don't recognize when we've gotten sucked into trying to please EVERYONE.
I fight this battle constantly in my own life. As a blogger, I receive LOADS of emails; some thanking me for what I do, but also an AMAZING amount of emails and comments from people expressing their disappointments and failed expectations with my content. So what am I supposed to do with this? The answer may seem simple when it's not your creativity on the gallows, but trust me, it's not so simple when it happens every time you post something.
At my best, I try to grow from it. Mine the comments for ways that I can better articulate and communicate that which is most important to me. But really, most of the time I just cry, kick and scream. (Both figuratively and literally, of course.)
YEP, you guessed it: I'm a people-pleaser too.
YEP, you guessed it: I'm a people-pleaser too.
What we often fail to realize is, each of our voices are distinct and unique; and not intended to to sooth, please or entertain everyone. If you read my blog it's pretty likely that you live your life a little differently than most of the people around you. Ok, I'll just say it like it is...you're kinda weird. Well, good for you! What I've been learning lately is that as people, we are most effective when we are living boldly and being completely ourselves. Even if that means we'll only touch and affect just a few lives. It's far better than being heard by everyone and yet never truly affecting anyone.
I've always found yoga a great place to practicing this. Your body is unique. Your mat is your own space. You are not there to please the teacher or the mat dweller next to you. There is no need to compare. Be your creative, fearless, quiet, bold, or rule breaking self. And when you leave the mat, take what you learned there with you into the world and conquer it!
Be the bold and the fearless you!
I have never commented here before, but I just had to say AMEN!!!
ReplyDeleteEmma
i have really enjoyed Jon Acuff's posts about this subject on his writing blog (different than the Stuff Christians Like blog). i don't understand haters. or people who invest in you or me to the extent that they are disappointed when they've never even met us. BOUNDARIES, folks! i'm not disappointed in you. i often disparage the foods you make (not because you made them), but that's because I'M WEIRD. and extremely limited. and don't have to deal with the health issues you face. and i'm afraid falling over on my yoga mat might elicit giggles and stares. but that's life.
ReplyDeleteLove this. I think this is one of best posts to date. Very well written and nice flow of thought. You pleased me, but even if you didn't, this was really right on.
ReplyDeleteI am new to your blog, but if I may...I really like it!
ReplyDeleteYou seem to have a certain flare that's very inviting!
Thank you for such a nice post :)
-Zosia
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ReplyDeleteThank you for that. I personally love your blog. My sister told me about it and I've been hooked on it ever since. Cheers to letting our voices be heard!
ReplyDeletehttp://myonecrazywildlife.blogspot.com
Oh my...disappointed with your content? Really? I don't get it. I don't get people who feel the need to put down others in some lame attempt to pump themselves up. I'm sorry. I'm sorry if people don't appreciate you. I appreciate you. I love your blog. I just wanted to let you know.
ReplyDeleteOh my...disappointed with your content? Really? I don't get it. I don't get people who feel the need to put down others in some lame attempt to pump themselves up. I'm sorry. I'm sorry if people don't appreciate you. I appreciate you. I love your blog. I just wanted to let you know.
ReplyDeleteWhat a great post. I am surprised that people spend time suggesting how any blogger should be doing whatever they are doing differently. Don't we check in with our favorite bloggers for fun, inspiration, and a perspective that we may not have thought of ourselves? Your ideas and a handful of others online make my life so much easier via your recipes, and fun and useful insights. What you write here is yours and yours alone and I am very grateful for it! Now I must go. Off to make carrot cake balls, thank you very much.
ReplyDeleteI love your blog, love this post, loved the video (nice touch). That is all. Carry on. :-)
ReplyDeleteJust wanted to say that I think your blog is great and I am so glad I stumbled upon it in January when I started the Paleo lifestyle. I have found some of my favorite recipes here! You are definitely making a positive difference in many life's and are an inspiration to each of us. I can completely relate to what you're feeling because I am also a people pleaser (I also teach group fitness). Don't stop sharing your amazing recipes! You rock!
ReplyDeleteAck...THANK you for this! I am a huge people pleaser, always trying to moderate other people's emotions. It is so important to remember to support our own selves. And you're right...yoga is SO good for that. I need to be more true to it.
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ReplyDeleteThe saying at the beginning of your blog touch me so deep that it made me cry. The comments that followed only solidified why I follow you. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteWow, what a great post - as someone new to your site and who found you thanks to your amazing almond flour pancakes on Pinterest...all I can say is keep it up! You're making an impact and unfortunately haters gonna hate. Thank you for your hard work and transparency!
ReplyDeleteBloggers are special people. You let total strangers into your life on a daily basis. I feel priviledged to be able to read your blog and grateful that you take the time to share your amazing recipes. I can't imagine why someone would feel the need to criticize. If you don't like...move on...simple. But your reaction towards it is very real and I thank you for sharing. I would much rather read a blog by someone who admits to crying, kicking, and screaming at times than someone who acts like life is all rainbows and sunshine all the time. I appreciate you.
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